I made it known last spring that we were co-sleeping. We technically still are. With an almost two year old. Yikes!
There. I said it. My terrified thought: What are y'all thinking about me, RIGHT NOW?
I am sure some are calling me a crazy lady. It's ok, if I wasn't me I would probably be judging me like that too.
|The crib that has NEVER been slept in.|
And we weren't willing to mess up a good thing with him sleeping so well. We made the adjustment with no date or plan really in place.
This arrangement continued without any issue until this January. One fateful night T decided he needed to roll out of the nap nanny and head butt me in the nose.
I heard a crunch, and ran to the bathroom to see if he had in fact broke my nose. Luckily, I think he just smashed some cartilage.
That night, I told BTB we were done with the nap nanny in the bed. We began letting T sleep between us. What a mistake. I never got any sleep.
For a tiny guy, in a California king bed--he takes up a ton of space. Here is real life for us:
Super bowl weekend BTB went skiing. I decided that weekend T was going into his pack n play. I had to do it sans BTB because he was more hesitant about transitioning him.
First, I had to clean out the pack n play. See, if you don't use those things for sleeping and toddler wrangling, it becomes a pit'o'crap. Once clean, I placed one of T's kindermats in the bottom. I did this because he naps so well on the other we have at daycare, I thought this would provide some familiarity.
Usually by 5:30-6:00, he wakes up thirsty. Here's my rule: If he's standing, I will let him lay with in the bed with us and drink the bottle. If he cries and continues laying, I just hand him the milk and make him stay in the pack n play.
I'm here to say, this is probably not the best way to transition to his own bed. Actually, at his 15 month appointment our ped said to "rip the bandaid."
We just aren't there, yet. Looking back, we probably should have set a goal for getting him in his room. Hindsight is 20/20, after all.
Once it became evident that we were
Even having research backing up our choice, we still didn't tell many about our decision. I remember the day I told Megan, and died on the inside telling her.
I just knew I was leaving her house that day to never be invited back. But she looked at me and said something I will never forget. She threw her hands up and said, "Girl, you gotta do what works for y'all-- I don't judge you for that."
After that day, I stopped caring if people knew. We were doing what worked for us. I do pass some of the blame for this situation.
- First. We've never done this parenting thing before. Had we been old pros when we had T, things may have been different.
- Second. Our Post Traumatic NICU Syndrome. (I just coined this term. It's not legit.) We left the hospital with a four pounder. We've had to make many adjustments to our life plan because of our circumstances.
I'm not saying we would ever change it. Because we wouldn't. End of story. We learned how to be the parents we are today because of those NICU doctors and nurses.
I've wondered for a really long time if I would ever actually write this post. The first time I confessed was hard enough, but doing it again a year later--terrified is really the only word that works.
My only hope by publishing this post is the opportunity to help other couples who also may feel embarrassed or unsure about their decision. If you want to argue with me about this decision, please move on. I will not go there with anyone.
If my Blissdom experience taught me anything, I need to be brave enough to write what I need to write about. Plus, I know I have a network of blogger friends that may not agree with our decision, but they will always support me.
Ok. It's out there. Whatcha think? Still love us?